Perception........ it's reallly an individual thing!

Day two of kindergarten had got me in a deep psychological thought process about perception.

How do I perceive people? How do people perceive me? That second question I haven't really thought about in over 10 years, about then I developed the I don't give a *#%@ attitude, I am what I am and to quote the legend of country music Toby Keith "Hate me if you want to, Love me if you can!"

I know there are people who perceive me as a bitch, that's okay I can be and I'm proud of it. No one pushes me around (unless I let them).

There are people who perceive me as old fashioned, that's okay too. I think people should leave something up to peoples imagination and cover up. I also have never tried any illegal drugs,. I also am a HUGE supporter of the white granny pants (anything else is whores underwear) Yes, I know this is debated by 90% or more of the population. But goes back to my good old fashion self. I also don't believe you should sleep with someone till you've known them a minimum of six months. Again a foreign concept to most people today.


There are people who perceive me as a "Momma and Daddy's girl", loyal friend (I hope), loud mouth, obnoxious, and sure a million others that are not coming to mind.


How do I perceive people? I would love to say with an open mind, but sadly that is not the fact. I jump to conclusions, I put labels on people and at times I'm down right shallow. I am not proud of this but there it is. My biggest population that I label and have issues concerning is what I deem "white trash". This has nothing to do with economics or geography, I label this class of people in all walks of life. They are the people who are just to ignorant or lazy to present themselves with any class, they refuse to do ANYTHING to help themselves or anyone else and just generally come across as LOSERS! I frequently lose my mind about what I deem this "class" of people on daily or at least weekly basis.


So where am I going with this.............. My Meg-a-doo goes to kindergarten yesterday and sits on the rug with 21 other little impressionable 5 year olds, her teacher, Ms. Kimberly, asks her "what do you like to do?" and my beautiful speech impediment child says clear as a bell " I like to go with my mommy, daddy, auntie and grandma and BET ON THE PONIES!" Not got to Fantasy Island, or shopping or to the movies, or the any other of the 100 or so places we went this summer. My child tells her teacher that she like to GAMBLE ON HORSES. When she came home and told me this, my perceptions went into OVERLOAD...here in Lockport the only place to partake in this sport is OTB, do you know what I think of when I think OTB, you got it WHITE TRASH, smoking cigarettes, drinking beer, while the kids sit locked in the car and wait........because the person can not help but gamble!

So now I'm convinced Ms. Kimberly has me pegged as "white trash"and I feel the overwhelming need to explain myself: how last weekend we took Meg to Saratoga Racetrack, for the time old tradition of watching thoroughbreds run. How we each had 15 dollars; $3 to get in (and get our free Saratoga knit cap)and 12 dollars to bet on 11 races. Betting $1 to show is about all I'm able to handle! How my mom knits, I read, my sons sleeps in his stroller, it was KIDS DAY, they had bounce houses and face painting and CLOWNS! This was not anything but a fun family outing , NO KIDS were left locked up in the car waiting. My $12 a year betting is not grounds for GAMBLER ANONYMOUS.


Now what to do about this...... First I was going to call her and explain everything, she did give me her cell number after all, but then reconsidered she would realize I'm paranoid and crazy on day two, not good. Then I thought a note, teachers LOVE notes, right? No, again paranoid and crazy to explain a simple statement by a 5 year old right?

So what did this Paranoid, Crazy and Neurotic mother do..................... I sent Meg to school with as many Saratoga free give aways as we had........ a lunch box, (to carry her snack), an umbrella (you never know if its going to rain), and the winter knit cap (I know 76 degrees today), but she could have gotten cold....right? I was going to dress her in the T-shirt but it is an adult medium, from last year, and has been through the wash a thousand times not to mention she would have looked ridiculous!

Now I pray that Ms. Kimberly saw all of those things and realizes where we were and what we were doing or at best case scenario asks Doos about it (I did spend an abnormally long amount of time telling her exactly what to say) just in case it came up. I am also counting on Ms. Kimberly putting all this together and then hopefully changes the perception (have deemed her to have) and realizes I AM NOT "WHITE TRASH". If infact Ms. Kimberly spent any time atall thinking about this.

As I am finishing writing this I'm having a hard time understanding why all of a sudden what someone I met yesterdays perception of me means anythingat all to me, but I guess it's because I don't want ANYONE to have a negative perception associated with my kids. They need to grow up and become who they are comfortable being more like Mr. Voice of Reason aka (Everyone Loves Todd) or their "Bitchy" Mother. I wantthem to be able to paint their own perceptions of who they are not be labeled because of who their parents are. There it is another excerpt into "The Hell I Call Reality!"